Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Bah Humbug!

I suppose it was inevitable - it happens to the best of us. If you choose to blog you apparently also put out a big fat welcome mat for all the trolls of the internet. WELCOME! Feel free to bash me and my kids to your hearts content! No really, say all the mean-spirited, ugly, judgemental comments you want. I apparently ASK for it because I blog. I get it. Hate away. And you're right, it doesn't say a THING about you to leave such comments.

I never understand these people. Who does this? Oh, wait - according to one of my trolls *I'M* the one actually doing this. Or, at least one of my many personalities is. Uh-huh, sssuuurrreee. These hateful trolls hide behind the Anonymous shield and spew forth their venom. What does this get them? Do they feel somehow vindicated that they "told me off"? Somehow took me down a peg or two? Perhaps they feel that by being so "brutally honest" they're really helping me by opening my eyes to the shame I should be feeling for blogging about myself and my family. Or better, that they'll convince me to not blog at all anymore. I'm not sure how that will help them in the end because if my blog is so offensive to them they could easily solve their problem BY GOING AWAY. Period end of sentance. But maybe that's their goal - to rid the interweb of all bloggers altogether! But wouldn't that also end their fun? Because clearly they spend time reading such blogs...

Do I expect everyone to like me and my family? Take an avid interest in the everyday details of our lives? No. Hell no, in fact. I don't fancy my family any more interesting than yours in the grand scheme of things. We're very normal and typical. But my life is interesting to ME, and the devil is in the details, so that's what I write about. To remember. To vent. To commisserate. To even show-off some when I'm feeling particularly proud of something (including my kids). As we ALL do from time to time.

I'm always surprised and get a little thrill when someone leaves a comment on my blog. It's a very small blog, after all. I'm no Dooce or Amalah or any of the other "big" bloggers out there. I'm in the cheap seats of the blogging auditorium and they are the main act. I get that. I'm not aspiring to be that blog/blogger. But the occasional comment will come in and give me some feedback on something I wrote. Usually, it's positive, which I appreciate. Someone who "gets" what I'm saying. Sometimes, someone will disagree with me, or present a different viewpoint. And that's cool, too, when it's done respectfully and thoughtfully. I dig when that happens because I like seeing things from a different perspective. Most of my posts are silly and garner no comments. None. And that's ok. I don't write for comments. But when I do receive a comment, I like for it to be useful. Telling me how horrible my kids look is NOT useful. You don't have to think they're cute, but telling me specifically they're not is hurtful. I can guarantee that no one else thinks your kids are as cute as you do, but that's all that matters - that YOU think your kids are cute and the greatest people on the planet. I don't expect anyone else to think Nicholas and Lauren are as great as I think they are. But that doesn't mean it's ok to tell a mother that her kids are fugly. What am I supposed to do with that? Yes, I usually just ignore it. But it's still "out there" and it's still a horrible thing to say to someone. By saying such things, are you trying to goad me into a cyber-fight? What else could I possibly say except "you're wrong - I think they're beautiful. So there!" What does that get us? Because I can guarantee that I'm not suddenly going to look at my two babies and decide that yep, the trolls ARE right - they're hideous! They should be stricken from the Earth! I bore truly ugly kids - woe is me!

Some people obviously feel that I share waaayyyy too many personal things on this blog. And they're right. I do discuss topics you wouldn't necessary chat about at a cocktail party. And that's exactly why I blog about them. Sometimes it's just easier to "talk" about them in forum so public it's essentially anonymous. And let's be frank - somethings are just funny to talk about. I took some crap about blogging about Mr. Chick's vasectomy. A few people wondered if nothing in my life was sacred and how could I even consider sharing such details??! And then last night while I was making dinner a re-run of a sitcom came on - the one with Jim Belushi and the chick from Melrose Place - shoot! I can't remember the name of it since it's not a show I ever really watch. What's it called?? Anyway, it came on and whaddya know? Jim and his wife were sitting anxiously for a pg test to be completed and were THRILLED when it turns out whe wasn't pg and then decided that Jim should get a vasectomy. The show went on to show Jim on the table with his feet in the stirrups as the doctor was running through the procedure, etc. Now, I ask you, if such a subject is considered comedy fodder for a television show, what's so wrong with me discussing it here??! I'm just askin', because some people clearly got their panties in a twist about it.

But mostly, I'm upset about the lack of common courtesy displayed by people. To say such hurtful things when there is no need simply boggles my mind. I just don't roll like that, I guess. You have to make a conscious effort to type out a flame-a-gram comment when it would've been so much easier to just click to another website and leave well enough alone. What void must they be trying to fill in their lives that saying nasty things to a stranger makes them feel better??

I.don't.get.it.

And so, I'm putting it out there to tell all trolls to keep it to themselves. Please. Because even if you think you're being helpful in some warped way, you aren't. Even if you think it's somehow funny, it's not. This is my family, and hateful comments about them affect me. I know it shouldn't, but it does. I more than welcome constructive comments and think a healthy, respectful debate is fun and informative, but the haters need to beat it. Fast. I'm not asking for ass-kissing commenter only, but I do ask they be respectful. Don't like what I'm writing? Don't read it. No one is forcing you, or even asking you to. You have the power to control what you spend your time on, and if my little blog isn't your cup of tea, change the damn channel. I love my family more than anything else in this world and don't appreciate people bashing on them. And just because I have a "public" blog does NOT mean it's ok and all bets are off. They're not, believe me. If you don't like something my daughter is wearing, keep it to yourself. If you think my son is a geek, save it. If you have a new idea for how I might approach solving a parental dilemma I'm having, tell me all about it! See how it works?

Good. We all have to play in this sandbox, so let's make nice and everyone will have more fun. Deal?

Comments:
I think you should subscribe to RSM's "Delete and Ban" technique. Now I really think you should go have some hot chocolate (adding alcohol to it is up to you).
 
Sorry.
No more from here.
You're kids are truly, really cute, by the way.
 
MP-

I've been reading your blog for a long time. I enjoy reading about your family. I don't always agree with you just as I'm sure you wouldn't always agree with me but I love that you use your blog to share your feelings and to vent. Its a heck of a lot more constructive than screaming at your kids or holding in your feelings. You ask for opinions and are willing to consider others' perspectives. There are a lot of nasty people in the world...but a lot of us enjoy reading what you have to share.

Maureen
 
People can be such a-holes.

The reason I love your blog so much, MP, is because of your honesty! You write about the things I don't have the balls (no pun intended) to share with the general public.
 
Okay, I have been sucky at commenting, for sure. I guess it is one downfall of bloglines - because it's so convenient JUST to read. :)

Anyway, I just wanted to say that even though your son may rival my daughter in the geek category, I love reading your blog. And we both know our approaches to parenting are a bit different and well, that is totally cool. I like seeing things from a different perspective as well and it offers me alternatives when I think maybe I could do something better.

Sorry you've had others say hurtful things about your precious children.

God Bless,
 
See, all the anons aren't the same -- I sure as hell didn't write that crap up there. I say just post a regular family newsletter and not a blog. Toughen up, sweetie. People still read about people and things they don't like (maybe even because they don't!)and comment on them. EVEN if the so-called writer doesn't like it. It's always sort of fascinating, actually. No matter how bad the taste, etc.
And, where'd I miss the part about someone calling yr kids fugly?
A) they're not (duh)
B) calling someone's outfit ugly is vastly different from calling THEM ug (you did it yrself, mp, when you criticised those poor mall girls)and C) you were the one to call yr son a geek, way before someone else agreed (as well as the nasty comments about yr daughter's nethers --thanks for making THAT public!!) and, again, a geek does not a fugly kid make!
Everyone here needs to take a good look at what you are doing, too, before getting so outraged. You are publicly airing private things about your FAMILY!! KIDS!!!!! And not so anonymously, I may add. Anyone reading can gather where you live, what everyone looks like, etc etc.
Quit the indignant drama, please. And, please-oh-please knock off the self-righteous and pitiful act. Can't handle the heat of a BLOG? Stay out...
 
MP, I think it's best for everyone to stop giving anon. attention. They obviously love to get it, they must be very lonely to be checking your blog every hour trying to come up with mean comments. All we can do is feel sorry for people like that. They aren't worth your time.
 
I really dislike it when TROLLS have to show up.

I, myself, love your blog. I don't always comment, but I do read. They really need to get a life. Keep up the great job!
 
"Now, I ask you, if such a subject is considered comedy fodder for a television show, what's so wrong with me discussing it here??! I'm just askin', because some people clearly got their panties in a twist about it."

The answer to that MP is that those are TV shows, your husband is not an actor, he's a real person and a member of an Oregon community. For me, that post, as well as the rest of your comments since I started reading, are not a big deal, it's the fact that you have added visuals (photos) of your family to your blog that I don't understand. There,is where you cross the line of THEIR privacy. Why can't you see that? I don't think I would've ever posted here now or in the past if it wasn't for that.

I'm wondering will your ramblings as you say in the intro to your blog, get even more personal, and in turn embarrasing for your kids the older they get? Right now they don't have a concept of what you write about, but when they become teenagers they most certainly will.

We all have those funny moments in our families MP, and I do "get what you are saying." What I don't get are the pics. You may be thinking that all 'your trolls' are a bunch of rude and prude people, but you are highly mistaken. What some of us are, is a group of folks, both male and female outraged at your lack of understanding of the word privacy, and more importantly the right to have it no matter how old you may be.

Picture this:

Nicholas is much older. He has a blog. He writes about his family mostly. He also posts their photos. He writes about happy, funny, loving moments with his sis, dad and mom; as you do (for the most part.) But he also writes about private family matters, of all sorts. Stuff that you would not necessarily want him to share with the world. How would you feel? Personal things about you, Mr.Chick, his sister. Somebody please give her some examples of what these things may be. I can think of many. If your family photos were NOT plastered in his blog, it wouldn't matter right? It would simply be his thoughts, his words, etc. You and the rest of the family would be completely anonymous. But if there were photos, then anyone who came across this blog, from far and near(remember that word MP *near*) would know your most intimate moments, and be able to put a FACE to the posts. See THERE is the difference! It's not the content of your writing, IT IS THE PHOTOS!

MP, Oregon has some pretty small and intimate communities. Do you get it now? See you later...
 
THAT was a thing of beauty. I may even be a little in love...
Maybe YOU should start a blog. Just call it "anonymous.blogfest.com", etc.Maybe we'll al go over there. Jen?You in?
Or maybe I should start it. Aren't we supposed to be the same person? Boy, am I clever then...
Oops. wait, does this mean I am a little in love with myself? I'm getting all confused, what with so many personalities.
Believe you me, anonsister, I'm with you on this one.
potsie(yep, the one &only fashion basher.dang. super sorry)
 
MP: I read your blog! I got the link for my cousin's blog...I thoroughly enjoy it as you type the things that many of us think! You make me laugh. So many of us deal with what you and your family deal with and it's nice to have such a refreshing view of things! :)
 
Hi MP~
I have been reading your blog since the Iparenting days. I love reading all the ins and outs of your life, and am comforted to know I am not alone in some of the things I am dealing with in my own children. Keep up the entertaining, great blog!!
~LM
 
Post a Comment

<< Home
Free Counters
Hit Counters

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?