Tuesday, November 07, 2006

And Then There Were 2

A few days ago Mr. Chick had to provide a (ahem) sample for his first post-vasectomy check to see if the river has been successfully dammed. Believe it or not, obtaining such a sample is not the easiest thing to do, as my services are required. It's a team sport here. But the pressure to perform and produce is, well, somewhat counter-productive for these types of sensitive things. And I thought all guys could just do it (*snap*) like that. Silly, ignorant me.

I couldn't help giggling and laughing at his obvious discomfort at having to do this. Completely laughing at his expense, which is oh-so-wrong of me. But it was funny, and so completely opposite of how things normally are. I couldn't help myself. Plus, it sort of eased the tension to laugh. I mean, if you can laugh when you're doing it, when can you laugh? Regardless of the inappropriate giggling, the necessary outcome was achieved and whisked off to the lab for analysis, tucked neatly under Mr. Chick's arm the entire drive in order to keep it warm. As the lab requested.

And today, they called with the results. Mr. Chick has..... wait for it..... 2 sperm left in circulation. 2. So they tell him to continue with the necessary precautions against pregnancy because he's not technically sterile. But 2? Don't you think out of the normally millions of swimmers a man produced in order to give pregnancy the best possible odds of happening, only having 2 is essentially sterile?

But I"m not taking any chances.

2 is 2 too many. I've heard too many stories of post-vasectomy babies. And so we'll continue to be cautious and repeat the fertility check in another month or so. By then, the count better be zero.

And really, 2-3 months post-snip is better than the woman I chatted with recently who confided in me that it took her husband 8 months before his count was zero.

I'll be happy with our measly 2.

My husband had a vasectomy in July (while I was pregnant with our third "surprise" baby - not our third surprise, but our third baby) and at his recent check he had only one sperm left. Like you, they told us to use precautions and after one unexpected pregnancy I'm not taking any chances. Incidentally, the doctor said that he should increase his activity, so to speak, to move out any residual sperm. Or, maybe my husband made that up.
Thanks for the follow-up about the Vasectomy. Tell me something, did you and Mr. Chick use magazines or videos to help get the sample? My partner and I did; and it helped. For some reason my guy had a hard time. No pun intended.
You know, I never really thought of posting anything regarding my partners' post-Vasectomy experience...silly me, I could've had so much fun with it. I guess something in me said, "Molly, if your honey wants to make this part of his life public on the web, he'll do it all by his little ol' self." My guess is he would've chose not to, but who knows, I could be wrong; perhaps just the act of writing about it would've been a turn on for him. Is it for you MP? How about you Suzanne? It sounds like you guys had some fun with it.
I totally want to know the info so I can be better prepared. We have to do this soon ourselves and it makes me really nervous for some reason. For instance, do you just get sent in a room at the clinic to do it, mp? And do you have a time limit? Can anyone hear you? Can my guy use anything? Props? Viagra? Visuals? Will you have to do it again sometime soon? Also, can't he just "do it" himself? And, DOES Mr. Chick mind that you write about him? Maybe he gets sorta proud...I know my guy is funny like that
Amy, I bet he did just make that part up about moving the residuals out. That is SO GUY! GRRRRRR!!
Just out of curiosity, and not because I really care about whether it would bother him or not, I asked my husband if he minded if I post about our private business, spacifically about anything regarding his penis or his sperm count. His exact words were "Heck yes it would bother me! Would you like it if I discussed your vagina with the guys at the office?"
I didn't know he was so sensitive...SHEESH! @@
Hello ladies, my partner Molly posted a comment here this morning, and then asked me to take a look at some of your posting MP. I proceeded to read some of your past ramblings, including the one about Mr.Chick's vasectomy. I must ask you MP- is there anything...ANYTHING about your life that you consider sacred? Also, with so much happening in the world, that is SO much more important than school photo re-takes and the like, I find your postings incredibly trivial, and have a hard time believing that you're actually a 30 something yr old woman. Have you ever, for instance, thought about initiating a conversation about something other than yourself? By the way, thank you for your post on voting, that was refreshing, even if by the end of it you couldn't help yourself, and tried to influence your fellow readers afterall. Have fun with Mr.Chick, and keep those sperm samples coming!
REGARDLESS of what Josh said I LOVE your blog. Love hearing about the kids, soccer, tantrums, Mr. Chick (yes, even the vasectomy), the house, family. You know, the trivial stuff. And actually I found the entry about voting boring. Politics are not my thing. But this is YOUR blog. Write what you want and if no one else finds it interesting and thinks it trivial, THEN DON'T READ IT.
Hmm...? Is MCM really MP?
I must say that I am terribly hurt that I've been misunderstood. When I said 'trivial', I by no means meant that family itself, and the rhythms of life within a family are trivial. I for one think that my family is the most important part of my life; that is why by the way, I am involved and care about Politics, and other issues. Can you see the connection here? Our kids? The future of our nation and planet? However, there are certain moments, or aspects of family life, that really do not need to be shared with the world. To read a blog about someone who can't for the life of them talk about anything except their own reality is...is... what is the word I'm looking for here? Oh! I got it...DISTURBING?! You are totally right MCM, I do not have to read it. And so, I will now leave you ladies to continue with your chats, and thus bring a little happiness to folks like MCM. Please, don't you all cheer at ones. Chao.
Oops, meant to say "once" not ones...please excuse my grammar. And, please, don't despair, as I won't be back :)
Oh my GOD. Who let him in here? And when did this get so serious? I thought it was all about good old fashioned chick-chat. Isn't that the point? Seems that some people need their guys input on EVERYTHING... and when they don't even see the point of going to the bathroom together (best conversations, of course!)or anything else about girlfriends, etc.
LOVE this blog. It reminds me of my journals.
I still want the info re the snip, by the way....
I would just like to say that i have enjoyed your post from the very beginning, and i sure hope you keep them coming. I am a SAHM in Jackson, MS. It just makes my day to read about your life MP. I agree with jean, who let him in here? Is there no privacy anywhere? Lord, I tell ya, those kids are sure cutie pies, you must be such a proud mama.
No, MCM is not MP. My name is Christine and I've commented on MP's blog before and she knows who I am.

BTW Jean, I think Molly let him in here.
Not to go into specific detail, for those that wanted to know, the "sample" was generated at home, not at a clinic or the lab. Ew! Afterwards my husband had to drive it over to the lab. And no, discussing it is NOT a turn on for either of us. It's just a part of my life, and that's the type of thing that I discuss here: MY life's minutia. It may not be interesting to many, or even a few, or even a single person, but it's not always meant to be. It's simply meant to be a place for me to talk about what's going on in MY life. So yes, insipid, boring, and mostly self-centered. Sorry if that annoys anyone but I write for and mostly about me.

Mr. Chick knows about my blog and has read it from time to time. He's not always entirely thrilled about the topics I "discuss", but I do take a few measures to protect his identity. Mostly he doesn't read it and knows it's a place for me to write. I find that writing helps me get clarity on various subjects and issues. It has my whole life. Is it always pretty? No. But it's real life so it's important to me. one or two people either of us interact with in "real life" know about my blog, so it's highly unlikely that anyone we know would find it, read it, and then be able to identify that "Mr. Chick" is really my husband. I'm not too terribly worried about that happening, frankly. call me naive.

And believe me when I say that there are LOTS of areas of my life and our life together as a family that ARE and REMAIN sacred. Duh. And while it may SEEM like I talk about everything here, I most certainly do not. And personally, I find talking about things like humorous situations like laughing and goofing around when trying to collect a sperm sample funny. Lighten up! These types of things are the fodder for sitcoms. There is a big different, imo, about me talking about my husbands sperm count here, where no one really knows who were are personally, to him discussing my recent pap results around the watercooler at work.
And, if we've gone through something that others are facing and can learn something from our experience, then I'm all about talking about it. Why the secrecy?

For the couple of ladies wanting more details about vasectomys, the urologist DID tell us that the more ejaculations a guy can have post-procedure the better. The guys are not making this part up. There are plenty of live sperm that live "below the cut" and need to be flushed out. They can hide in there for quite some time, which is why they want you to have these counts done a month or two after the snip. We're supposed to repeat the test in other month or so to make sure his count is zero. Whatever you and your partner need/require to get the sample is up to you.

And this concludes my response to those who question and bash my content, question my self-filtering ability to respect my husband's privacy, and whether talking about such things "publicly" is a turn on for us. (NO). Any other questions?

PS - MCM is a friend of mine and has been for many years now. We actually had a nice long chat on the phone today.
Hey Josh, isn't it CIAO? And is there some rule about what the content of an individual's blog should be?

MP, regarding the content of THIS post, make sure Mr. Chick gets those fertility checks. I have a friend who conceived a baby 2.5 YEARS post vasectomy! It is incredible that the count can get soo low, but one could still get prgenant!
Hey Mp, thanks for the vasectomy post. My husband "may" actually go thru with it someday. I have a 10 yr IUD right now so we may wait til I have to get that removed in 6 yrs. We are 99% sure we are done (I have a boy and girl who are 6 and 4). I had to delete a bunch of comments and chose to moderate my comments and not allow anonymous. I get very minimal comments in my blog, and don't get a lot of people over there and I started to get the annoying anon comments after I stood up for you over here, so I know it is someone who followed me over to my blog and started in on me. How annoying and immature is that. Anyway I love your blog and stop by a few times a week to read! I love how you post regularly (I wish I were better at that) and love reading about your kids who are just a little bit younger than mine. Fun times!
Jen,Thank God you DON'T (post more often, that is)
Love, ANON
Hi Colleen, I saw your post asking Josh if it's CIAO? Yes it is, but only if you are writing/talking in Italian. In Spanish it is CHAO. Just thought I let you know :)
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