Friday, October 06, 2006

Girl Talk

Mr. Chick and Nicholas are gone this weekend visiting Mr. Chick's grandparents, leaving just Lauren and I to fend for ourselves. They left yesterday at the ungodly hour of 6:10am, which meant we had to get up by 4:15am in order to leave in time to make that flight. No one looks, sounds, or behaves well at 4:15am unless you're Nicholas and you're more excited than Tom Cruise discussing Katie Holmes with Oprah. THEN you pop out of bed and gleefully get dressed in 5.9 seconds and announce you're ready for the airplane.

But only then.

Otherwise you're like me, who couldn't look more disheveled and bleary and staunchly refused to get dressed to drive to the airport (I wasn't going to be seeing anyone at that hour, nor was I exiting the car, so why bother, right? Plus, my jammies were still too comfortable and warm at that wee hour and my plan was to return home and immediately go back to bed. My plan, not Lauren's) and couldn't manage speaking beyond a mumble/grumble until the coffee was made. But despite that, we managed to leave on time, get Mr. Chick and Nicholas to the airport (travel mug of coffee firmly in hand). No joke, Lauren and I were home BEFORE 6am.

I brilliantly thought I could simply pop in a mellow movie like March of the Penguins and Lauren would drift back to sleep cuddled with me on the couch, therefore allowing ME to catch a few more zzz's as well.

I am not so brilliant.

Lauren didn't sleep. Lauren behaved like, I don't know, an energetic toddler who likes to bounce on her prone mother and swing toys around the room and speak at unnecessarily high volumes. So more sleep was clearly out of the question for me. Instead, to keep myself awake and occupied, I cleaned. The house was a filthy wreck, still not reclaimed after week-long houseguests, and was overdue some attention. Plus, with the messy boys away I stand a chance of it staying clean for a few days. That's motivation right there.

So today, after the both of us girls got full nights of sleep (although I didn't make it to see Grey's Anatomy last night, damnit. I couldn't keep my eyes open and fully crashed on the couch. I did have the presence of mind, however, to remove my bra beforehand. A girl has priorities.) we're having a Lauren Day. We're going to the Children's Museum and then the Party Store to get some supplies/invitations for her upcoming 3rd birthday party.

But before any of that, Lauren and I had some deep conversations while snuggling in my bed together. I slept naked last night, as I do most nights (shut up - it's more comfortable and less restricting than full pj's, but I did have full pj's for the airport run. No worries) and Lauren took notice of The Boobs this morning. She pointed out various body parts - shoulder, cheeks, arm, elbow - ending squarely on Nipples. Yes, nipples. I was just happy she pronounced the word correctly instead of "nittles", like she has until recently. Anyway, nipples having been correctly identified, she moved onto The Boobs themselves. Now, my boobs have gone through some changes with age and pregnancy and nursing. I still like The Boobs, but they're a bit squishier these days than in days past. Lauren is just discovering this. I think she was hunting for another body part to identify under my boob (I was laying on my side and, well, my boobs were appearing to slide sideways down towards the mattress, truth be told) and she physically moved my boob back up towards my shoulder to peek underneath. I was being felt up by my daughter. She seemed surprised that The Boob didn't stay where she put it. It promptly slid back down into place. So she shoved it back up again. Oh yes, this was fun for me. After satisfying herself that nothing else was hiding under the misbehaving boob, she pulled up her shirt to see her own ta-ta's. I told her she'd someday have big boobies like me. She nodded her head in agreement, OK with the notion of having boobs herself.

And then she added, "...and a penis!"

Lauren desperately wants a penis and gets upset when you point out to her that she is, in fact, a girl and has a vagina. "NOOO! I no want a gina! I have a penis!" What's a mom to do? I've tried explaining to her, when Nicholas is not around, that having a vagina is better than a penis. Vagina's have all the power, I told her. This message is lost on a toddler who sees herself as a boy.

So I went with the only other thing I could think of to forestall a meltdown and ruin our big day together: "Lauren, you'll have to wait until you're older, but then you can borrow your boyfriends penis."

I'll let Mr. Chick deal with THAT when the time comes.

Comments:
too cute that girl! I think it is easier to have a penis too...no periods! ack! The girl already knows don't she, hehehe
 
lmao! that was the cutest, funniest little girl story I've heard!
 
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