Tuesday, December 06, 2005


You see that sweet face of my daughter in the post below (go ahead and look, I'll wait)? Well, she ain't so innocent. Don't let the look fool you. As of last night she learned how to effectively climb out of her crib - all thanks to her Daddy. She likes to try to climb IN, so he showed her how to do both. Thanks. So after putting her to bed at 9pm last night I got myself settled on the couch to unwind with the boob tube **. At 10pm I thought I was seeing a ghost: Lauren walked into the living room. What?! She's in bed - asleep, right? Plus, how did she get OUT of the crib?! I could only stare and point to her dumbly, showing Mr. Chick what had me so momentarily perplexed. That's when he confessed teaching her this new trick. So now? She doesn't want to STAY in her crib. She's a little jack-in-the-box. You put her in and BAM! She's out. You put her back, and she pops out again. It's such a fun game - try it!

We (mistakenly) thought she was down for good and ventured out to the hottub, only to discover she wasn't asleep (little faker!) and had locked us out. Nice, huh? It was now 11pm and I was tired. Both physically and with dealing with this. We got back in and tried yet again to put her to bed. How was she still awake? Finally, after catching her mid-escape and dangling from her crib rails, I asked if she wanted to sleep in Mama's bed. "Mama beh! Yeah!" So I brought her in. And suffered for it. Lauren eventually fell asleep - pushing midnight - so that's when I was able to crash, too. Only to be rudely woken up by her flinging a meaty leg and hitting me in the face. With her heel. That hurt. She stayed asleep (little shit!). So I picked her up and transferred her back to her crib. All was well for the next few hours and then somehow, magically, Lauren sensed something had changed and horror of all horrors - ! she was back in her crib. Must commence loud crying and calling repeatedly, "mama! mama! mama!" and when that doesn't yield results, start in with "daddy! daddy! daddy!" until pleas are finally answered. Declare intent: "mama beh!" and settle in next to your daddy because Mama is pissed and tired and wants nothing to do with you. It was 5am for the love of all that is holy. I like NO ONE at 5am. I don't care how cute you are. Resume wild, restless sleeping, good for no adult but which seems to work perfectly well for a 2 year old.

At 6:15 I'd had it and got up to brave the 34 degree weather and go for a 3.5 mile jog. Yes, I really did. I knew I'd need something stronger than coffee, and nothing is a better jolt than adrenaline and bitingly cold temps. In the still-dark pre-dawn hour. Trust me. I got home from my run around 7:15am, brewed some coffee and folded a load of laundry. I drank my first cup and perused the morning paper. No one else was awake. Slugs! I had to go wake up Mr. Chick at 7:45am so he could go to work (remember, he has a 1.5 hr commute each way. Now he'll be even later tonight for getting such a late start this morning.). Big yay for me. Dealing with the kids on my own for a few more hours today. And with precious little patience since I'm so bushed. Lauren woke up with her daddy, having gotten fewer hours of sleep than in normal what with all the excitement of being able to get out of her crib at will.

So here it is, 1:30pm - prime naptime at my house - and what's happening? Lauren is fighting me on napping. How has she not collapsed yet? She's climbed out of the crib once so far and is calling for me - her favorite mantra - like it's a Buddist chant. Oh wait - scratch that. I just heard a big thump and now she's escaped twice. Lucky me. I need a nap and my kids are not cooperating, damnit!

We were planning on moving Lauren into her "big girl" twin bed when we moved. New room, new bed. But I think it's clear we can't wait that long. It's not safe for her to be climbing out of her crib the way she is. She could fall and hurt herself. I have sheets for her, but no bedspread or comforter or other such necessary items. And it's Christmas, so stretched budget. Nice timing, Lauren. Do you think she'd mind/notice if Santa brought her a bedspread this year?

Oh man, I probably would have pimp slapped Mr. Chick for teaching her that "trick."
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