Thursday, June 30, 2005

5 for 5

I need to get serious. I can't deny it anymore. I can't put it off any longer. My diet and fitness need to improve and I need to drop this extra weight. NOW! I'm proud of myself for exercising regularly. I've worked out at least twice a week for months and months. It hasn't been enough. So this past week I've stepped it up. I've worked out everyday for the past 5 days. I've either run 3 miles or gone lap swimming (my favorite exercise). It's a good start. I've been more tired in the evenings as a result, but it's a decent trade-off. I'm just so sick of my mid-section being so fat and flabby! Really, it grosses me out. And I KNOW it grosses Mr. Chick out (he told me so, remember? Yeah, that was fun to hear.) My figure looks more like Lauren's than it ought to.

So I'm improving the exercise thing. Check. Now I need to get my diet under control. For some reason I can't shake my craving for all things sweet. Must.have.sugar! Or cheese. Cheese will satisfy my craving. All the things that should be eaten in moderation are my total downfall. Really, I'm not much of a snacker. That's not my issue. My issue is portion control and limiting my intake of sweets and crap in general. I eat too much cheese. Instead of just having half a bagel at breakfast I have the whole damn thing. With an egg and cheese, of course. I've been trying to eat more salads for lunch instead of a sandwich or whatever. Salads tend to bore me. And I've been really good about only having one helping at dinner, but it's usually something with lots of carbs.... And all these birthday parties lately - who can say no to having a piece of birthday cake?? Certainly not me. So I'm good in so many ways, and then sabotage myself with my diet. It's hard. I don't feel like I'm totally out of control, but I definitely need to get it in gear and lose this extra 20lbs. 20lbs - so doable and yet it feels unreachable or insurmountable.

In an effort to keep it real, I humbly submit the following candid photos I took of myself this morning. Very raw, very unflattering. Too bad I don't know how to retouch my image - ha! It's more of a reality check for myself than anything else. God I have a big ass! And my tummy - yikes. Those have always been my "problem" areas. My tummy is way worse since having had the kids. Sad but true. So here I am, revealed. I should have "dressed for the occasion" by wearing something more flattering, but this is how you would see me if you ran into me at the park today. So there. Hopefully these photos can be used as the "before" pics someday when I achieve official HOTTIE status again.

Me from the front

Me from the front wearing my swimsuit. Pardon the flash streaks...

side view in swimsuit. My D cups look almost non-existant here...

side view with clothes. Poochy belly, big butt and all.

The rear view. I thankfully don't have any fat rolls on my back, but my butt/hips - ! Oh my. Posted by Hello

Hi MP,

I have been reading your blog but haven't posted to you yet. I'm delurking, however, to tell you that you are WAY too hard on yourself. You do not look fat and flabby to me, even in the swimsuit.

Like you, I also have two kids and I had to make a real effort to get back in shape after the birth of my second child. For me, the running is what did it. I run 3.5 miles 3 or 4 times per week and it seems to be enough to counteract my dessert indulgences. For some reason, I can't seem to shake that idea that I need a treat to reward myself for getting through the day. Despite my workouts, though, I still have far from a perfect body. My weight is fine but I'm not all that proportional (small on top, wide in the hips and thighs). I feel that you do what you can to get yourself in shape and then you balance it out with a good dose of self-acceptance. I mean, you did produce two beautiful children. If that's not evidence of an amazing body, I don't know what is.

Good luck to you! I'll keep reading.

You and I have identical bodies, although I think my ass is bigger! LOL.
oh my goodness, you are not FAt!!! Now, I am in the process of losing 45 pounds....had the same conversation with my DH!! Now I have had friends say I don't have are they wrong, my DH would like me to get to "the hottie status" once again myself...I myself am doing the south beach diet....I have lost 11 pounds since June 20th....I actually don't mind it, I miss my carbs and sugar but in reality I shouldn't eat them anyway!!
I think you look HOT!!!!

Seriously MP> But I do wish you luck and success for what you desire hon.
Psch 101 would tell you that if someone truly thought they were fat they would never post pictures of themselves in a swimsuit on the internet.
Clue me in...where's the fat? :) You look great, MP, but of course if you are not happy with your body, then that is what matters. Keep up the great work though...excersise is great even if you are fit!
Personally, I don't think you look that fat at all. Perhaps you are in the same boat as me.....and a bit...squishy? I totally need to tone up, but I dislike most forms of physical activity.

BTW....did you ever get any breathe right strips for dh??

I like bagels.
thanks all. I was hoping I didn't come across as fishing for compliments, but I appreciate your kind words. We all are our own worst enemies. Some may feel that I look ok, but *I* feel like I look fat. I'm at my heaviest except when pregnant. So to me, I'm fat. It's sort of like "one man's junk is another man's treasure". I get this. And I think someone said it well - I'm squishy. Totally squishy. Like Santa, my belly jiggles. Kids might like this feature, but I don't! So toning will definitely help there. At least, that's the plan. Time will tell.
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You look great in a swimsuit. Post more swimsuit pictures!
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