Wednesday, April 06, 2005

The Ever-Present Diet Thing

Like most women (I assume), I'm constantly thinking about my weight and figure. For the most part, I'm content with how I look. But there is a little voice in the back of my head that will tell me I need to lose some weight. Or that I should or shouldn't eat something. Or that I need to get more exercise. Or whatever. It's annoying, yet helpful in a bizarre way. I really wish body image wasn't a big a deal as it is in our society, but by myself I'm not powerful enough to change that. So I deal with it and hope to set a healthy example for my kids (especially my daughter since girls seem more obsessed with this than boys. Lucky boys). I mean, what kind of bullshit are we buying when a size 12 model is considered "plus sized"? That's crap. America is getting bigger by the day, but the average is a size 12. Of course, a 12 is bigger than it was a decade or two ago, but whatever, I can roll with it.

I'm what I describe as "solid". Nothing about me has ever been petite. Ever. I'm on the tall side (5'8", approximately), and have broad shoulders, big feet (size 10's), and my figure is curvy. I wear a 34-36 "D" bra. I have a butt (watch out, J.Lo!). Before kids, I came close to the stereotypical 36-24-36, meaning I had (past tense) a small waist relative to the rest of me. So yeah, curvy. My weight was stable for years with small fluxuations here and there. I'm not embarrassed to share details like what my weight is (currently: 168, but I think I wear it well. Ask VirgoJen - she's met me). More important to me than the number on the scale is the size of my clothes. In high school and college I was an 8, sometimes a 10, depending. Then slowly it became the norm for me to be a 10, sometimes 12. And then after kids it was a 12, mostly 14. I work out regularly, but my eating was atrocious. All my favorite, comfort foods are high-carb stuff: pasta, rice, bagels, mashed potatoes, etc. And cheese. Lots and lots of cheese. Yummmm! After Nicholas I did Weight Watchers and lost 20 lbs. I got down to 158lbs, which for me was really close to what I weighed when I got married. I looked really good and my size 10 "skinny jeans" had some extra room. Then we moved here and I got pregnant. 'Nuff said. I was back to 14's after Lauren's arrival. And my tummy just isn't the same. My waist isn't as tiny - it's much thicker than before babies. I always had a pooch under my belly button, but now it's poochy all over my mid-section. Totally gross. I cleaned up my eating and lost about 10 lbs to where I am today. I've maintained that for months. It's about 15lbs too heavy for my liking. So like before, it's time to tighten up my diet and shed those pounds once and for all. I'm really good at maintaining weight - it's the losing it that's hard (duh!). I'm not aiming to look like this. But I don't want to look like this, either. There has to be a happy middle-ground, right?

The most helpful (and annoying) part of Weight Watchers was keeping the food journal. Since WW is out of our student budget, I've found this site to keep my food journal online: FitDay. My plan is to eat between 1500 - 1800 calories a day. That and stepping up my exercise regimen to include one more workout a week (currently I swim 2x/wk and run 1x, about 3 miles. Need to work in another run). You see, my youngest sister is getting married over Memorial Day weekend. I'm a bridesmaid. The bridesmaid dresses are super-cute and right now I'm between the 10 and the 12. The 12 is probably better but I really want to wear the 10. It's probably too aggressive to think I can lose enough without drastic measures in time, but something is better than nothing, right? So I'll be noting my progress here over the next 6 weeks. I'm hoping that being accountable publicly will keep my feet to the fire. But you know what? Even if I don't my husband will still think I'm sexy, and isn't that the most important thing?

Girl, you wouldn't believe the range of sizes in my closet. I am 5'9" with big feet as well :) I have everything from size 6 to size 16 (PLUS) I won't say.... I need to get REALLY serious about this whole weight thing. I don't want to be "overweight" anymore. Enjoyed this entry !
Oh let me tell you -- I swear to God I almost think as much about getting into some sort of decent shape after Tess is born as I think about what it's going to be like to have another baby. After I had Sam I was slim -- a size 8 which is what I like to be in my 5'5 frame. I was one of those women who's body shrunk the more I nursed. I weaned and instantly gained 20 lbs. Like the next day. I SO want to look the way I looked when Sam was 6 weeks old. Sigh. Dieting sucks.

Hi MP, just wanted to welcome you to blog world! I am looking forward to reading all about you and the kiddos. I was a regular reader of your IP diary.

My weight has been S-L-O-W-L-Y creeping up over the past 5 years or so, I'm forever battling with it ;) As my son is now 3.5yrs I can no longer use 'the baby' as an excuse...!

Thank you for the link to FITDAY. I am going to join and hopefully make a difference for myself. It is a constant battle here and I do fit into the PLUS size category.
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